


The world will still turn without you

by Danganrose



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Other, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 13:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15820050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danganrose/pseuds/Danganrose
Summary: FallingBack inTo the black ink that curls around me and drags me downAnd makes me hate to love And love to hate





	The world will still turn without you

**Author's Note:**

> Who's up for a little bit of angst?

Akira Kurusu was always charming, to those who were stuck-up and for those who weren’t. He always treated everyone the same, not lashing out or back talking anyone, regardless if they were in the wrong. He carried the aura of mystery over him and with his past being more than just speculation at Shujin, it was no wonder he caught your eye.

You decided to do a bit of poking, just watching him during class or as he left, accompanied by the boisterous ball of flames, Ryuji.

You didn’t spy, just admiring from the distance, curiously. 

Your actions soon found yourself in a dire situation, being thrown into an unknown world, held captive by suits of amours with ghoulish looks on their face in the castle painted red with blood and lust. It was a flurry of you screaming for help as they chained you down, only to be saved at the last minute by a trio of goons, the rock hard Ryuji, a scrawny cat and the polished man in black, Akira.

He released you, carefully supporting your shaking frame, the edges of his pure white mask bordered by licks of his raven-like hair. He licked his pink lips in concern, “Are you hurt at all…?”

That’s when the bud of love was placed in your heart, soon to grow into a monstrous flower that would destroy you mentally and physically.

—

Living life as a Phantom thief- tough. Living life as a phantom thief while in love with the leader? Even harder. 

It’s hard fighting shadows with the threat of death on the line when all you can think about is how closer you want to be with him, and how you crave for him to give you a command or to prove yourself useful to him. 

You found yourself wanting to spend more time with him, wanting to stop by Leblanc for little or no reason. You definitely wanted to tell him but the idea of exposing yourself to someone made you dizzy. Not wanting to confide in the other members, you slowly worked up the courage as the months went by.

The school festival was going to be happening in a few weeks, the group had just announced that Akechi Goro, even if he could make it, was to be the special guest at the festival.

The timing wasn’t perfect, but you decided that if you got rejected now, it wouldn’t be so bad because the Phantom theives would all continue on as normal, and you two would still be friends.

In theory, and as you stood outside of LeBlanc second thoughts began popping up in your mind. You forced your panic aside, walking in with the small bell announcing your arrival.

Sojiro was busy in the back, cigar clenched between his teeth as he dug under the sink for something, mumbling curses under his breath.

You assumed Akira was upstairs, he had left school saying he had wanted to study and headed home early. You heald two drinks and a bag of burgers, wanting to at least pretend like you had a reason for being here

You left Sojiro to his own demons, creaking up the wooden steps of the stairs. On the final step you hesitated, knowing you could just walk back down and out of the cafe and pretend like this never happened. But that was stupid, you wanted to get this done right here and right now. 

You pushed yourself up the final step before you could change your mind, opening your mouth to announce your arrival.

And just like that, your heart shattered into a million pieces right in front of your eyes. 

—

You laid in bed, tomorrow you knew you would have to drag your sick and dying body out to the festival, where Makoto Nijima would grill Goro Akechi for the hour allowed until one of the two broke.

You cringed, rolling over and burying your face into a pillow. The thought of Makoto Nijima sickened you right now. 

Your phone had been blowing up daily since the night of the occurrence, yet you didn’t have the courage to answer them. Even at school you clung to Ann and fled at any sign of the student council president or Akira showing up. 

You knew you should be online, supporting and talking with your friends on the plan tomorrow, sharing the same anxiety and confiding in eachother. 

Yet you selfishly couldn’t bring yourself to, instead wallowing and forcing yourself into doing nothing.

It’s going to be awlkward if you say anything to Akira but at the same time the longer you wait the longer it will become apparent that you have feelings for the man. 

You bounced between ideas and what to do for a few hours until the familiar tickle in your throat forced you into a coughing fit, spewing blood and roses into your hand. You grimaced at the mangled mess.

Brilliant.

You shut your phone off, slipping between states of slumber and laying in silence for the rest of the night.

—

It had been 5 days and you had yet to talk to Akira or Makoto directly. It was another day in Sae’s casino, the conflict between the couple and the new member Akechi only made things more awlkward trying to navigate through the palace. Most of it being in hushed silence, especially in break rooms where Akechi would attempt to interact with the group while Ann tried to get everyone into a conversation. Though after most of it’s members didn’t participate, the efforts died off.

Makoto was a wreck, she was off of her game and kept nervously twitching, biting her nails or fussing with her hair. The stress of her sister, police, school and the interaction in Akira’s room weighing her down. 

Akira was more passive, though he was still quiet he was more jerky and less flamboyant, feigning calmness while still trying to lead the team. 

It was unfair to the both of them and you knew it, but  _fuck_ you were in a lot of pain as well, satirically and metaphorically. It made you want to let yourself go, float into the void of your mind alone forever and never stop. It was like you were underwater, still breathing but everything was muffled and numb and you can’t feel anything except for the pressure against your head and the rushing of water.

When you think you’ll be ok, or whenever you’ll have it out of your mind, each time you look at him the scene in the attic replays in your mind.

-They didn’t notice you at first, only a few seconds later they noticed how greatly you had paled, dropping the bag onto the floor. Akira quickly covered Makoto’s baren body with a blanket, not even worrying about himself as words rushed out of his mouth in a babel, caught off guard.

It might have been okay, had Akira not been totally nude. And if you didn’t look down at his crotch, you knew you shouldn’t have but it was impossible to resist, fucking fate was forcing you to do it. 

His dick, slick with pre-cum and curled towards his chest.

The dick that was aroused by Makoto Nijima, not you.

One that didn’t care about your text, telling him you were dropping by.

One that cared more about his  _girlfriend, fucktoy, bitch_ , whatever he called her.

One that  _lied_ to you. Wanting to study, to be alone, when really he came to relieve that loneliness that he never shows to anyone, that he only shares with the ones he loved.

One that clearly, didn’t love you.

Then you were running, out of the cafe and down into the streets,  _oh god oh god oh god_ , your mind playing those words like a broken record over and over as the world swirled and crunched and came at you under your feet, carrying you away away away from the place where you’d never be loved.-

Each time you so much as thought of him the memory stirred up again.

You quickly rounded a comer, isolating yourself as you violently coughed up more petals, stems and thorns cutting the inside of your mouth. 

You cleaned yourself up and joined everyone again, letting your thoughts eat you alive.

—

Makoto finally snapped.

“ _What’s your problem?_ ” She slammed her hands down on the table of the saferoom. The group was discussing whether or not they should send Akira into the battle areana or not, with every time Makoto insisted something you always were against it. 

“We shouldn’t send him-”

“It’s the only way.” you said coldly.

“We can find another way-”

“There’s no time.”

Thus resulting into Makoto raging at you.

“This whole time we’ve been in here you’ve been nothing but a bother, not talking, not even looking at  _us_.”

“Oh I’m being the  _problem_ here.” You were growing angrier every second, angry and Makoto, angry and Akira and everything for making you love someone who didn’t fucking care for you.

You knew deep down he did, but he wouldn’t care like he would for her, pushing her out of the way in Futaba’s palace, Makoto sticking to his side like glue. 

You were sick and tired of it. Of Makoto being the star of the show. “I come in here and work my  _ass off_  without complaint and listen to your  _boyfriend’s_ orders because I want to help you and your fucking sister and you’re telling me I’m being a problem!? Well news flash Mrs. President, not everyone can be as perfect as you I’m terribly  _sorry_!”

Her eyes widened, she nor Akira had told anyone of their relationship and you could tell you hit a nerve. “Ever since that night where you were the one who  _barged in without so much a word_ , you’ve done nothing but cry to yourself and mope and now your’re being rude and just saying what you want because you’re not getting your way?! You don’t even have half of the responsibility I have!”

“Yeah I wonder why?! I wonder why little mrs. does everything perfect, who aces school and leads the phantom thieves half the time because the leader is mute and doesn’t say a fucking thing, had responsibilities! I’m sorry being born into a wealthy family and every opportunity of success! And I’m also so sorry for you getting the love of your life before you’ve graduated! I’m so sorry that your ‘responsibility’ counts and letting your boyfriend’s dick slide into you but I’m really sorry because your sister is a nutcase and is the reason we’re in this fucking mess-! ”

“Shut your fucking mouth!” She stamped her foot on the floor. “If you’re going to act like that then just leave, go get out of here-  _I don’t care about you or if you get killed in here or even if you’re a phantom thief just go! Get the hell out of my face! Never **ever** come back here again!_”

The remaining thieves stood in shock, too afraid of Makoto or the situation to do anything.

“Fine.” You spat, opening the door and turning to wave in mocked flourished. “Good fucking bye.” you slammed the door, ran out of the palace alone, hit the ground of the real world running and didn’t stop until you collapsed.

—

You withdrew from the phantom thieves that day, not caring if you got caught or not, no if they succeeded with the treasure or not. You knew they had a plan for Goro, and that they didn’t trust him but no one decided to tell you much ever since you backed away from them all. 

Weeks passed, anger slowly, yet surely dulled then faded, realizing how alone your life was, how cold and lifeless it was.

Bitterness, and guilt, for the things you said and the ones you didn’t say. You didn’t even tell Akira a proper apology or so much as looked at him as you left, and would probably never see him again.

The months grew cold, you threw up blood and flowers daily, as your world and everyone else’s ticked closer to the end.

The day before it all changed, before the new world, you laid half dead, caked in dried blood and teary eyes, sorry for everything that had happened, for the future that was never there.

You whispered your love’s name, a petal passing through your lips as you slipped into the dark void.

.

.

.

.

You were awake for a month now, the surgery to remove the flowers being a success.

Though with it, came with the price of forgetting, forever. 

Whatever you did forget though, will be a mystery, as you had no memory of anyone or anything to worry about.

So, you went to School, as the crime rate was raised to the maximum, and the phantom thieves grew more and more popular, you wondered what would happen next, if you’d fall in love again or if you’d just go about the rest of your life, living with no memory of regret.

The phantom thieves grew more famous and corrupt, you continued your daily life, without them. 

The two of you headed in vastly opposite directions, traveling to opposite ends of the universe.

The memories tiny tiny planets, millions of light years away and the people rocketships going in oppssite directions. 

With each passing day they grew farther and farther, until you could no longer see or touch them any longer.

And that’s the way it stayed, for the rest of your life.


End file.
